Saturday, 7 March 2009

Welcome to my city

Welcome to my city. Population: somewhere around the better half of 500,000 I would think. I’m not really quite sure. Can’t keep tabs on everyone after all. It’s nice to see the streets so empty, especially with our city. Very peaceful, very quite. It’s a lovely city. No, really. You should see the view from my apartment; it’s facing the sea and everything. And climb to the top of Centre Tower – you’ll get to see the whole city from there. Absolutely gorgeous stuff. There’s Midpark too, but we don’t want to go there. Not at this time, anyway. A man got mugged and brutally stabbed last week whilst walking through it at night. Hmmm? Yeah, they caught the guy. Well, found him is probably a more appropriate word. He was found with a spit through him, half-charred over a large bonfire. It was absolutely ghastly but what can you do, huh? Caught the guy? Oh no, you fail to understand you see, it wasn’t a criminal who did that. See, a year ago we had a massive crime outbreak. It was awful. The police couldn’t do much and half the force was corrupt anyway and suddenly out of the blue sky comes our Hero, cape and all. He gets right down to business; he wants to make it clear he’s putting a stop to crime, so he goes all morose-irony on everyone. There was this hit and run on one of the corner stores a while back. Our Hero, he comes out of nowhere, like he always does and he fires at him, completely destroying the guy’s spine. The thief, he’s lying on the road completely paralyzed, almost dead but just hanging on. And our hero, he wants to hammer the point in – he’s only taken care of the “run” side, now he wants to do the “hit”. He breaks the guy’s arms in 4 different places. Then he walks away, never saying a word, and disappears. No one can find him; superheroes are good like that. His name? To be honest, no one’s quite sure what his name is. We call him the Watcher. He’s always around, always waiting, always watching. So a couple of months later and the streets are virtually void of any of the crime we had so much of not that long previous. It’s amazing of course, but without crime there’s nothing for our crimefighter to fight. So he starts finding whatever he can to put himself to use. A man was spitting on the sidewalk, this was a couple of weeks ago, then the Watcher comes out of nowhere and as fast as anything, slashed the poor man’s mouth Glasgow Grin-style. Watcher made him clear up all the blood and the spit. Don’t even ask me about the kids caught drinking… no. Awful. That’s why you don’t see so many people on these streets much. Leave? Not while the Watcher still watches. He’s our guardian. No one can find him, no one can stop him. Besides, I can’t leave- this is my city. Every city has its problems. We asked for a crime-free place and we got one. We have our masked vigilante. But the views here are great. And the Chinese food. Amazing. Wanna grab a bite? Yeah, come on. Watch out. Mind that blood there.

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