Monday, 14 September 2015
The Organisers Have Reached Their Goal
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For £10, you would get biannual
updates, for the first ten years. (5,000 takers)
There were
already two generic cards written, for the first day, and Christmas. Then the
plans were to send one every year at those times, probably with equally generic
messages. It didn’t matter; for that price, people didn’t care that much.
For £25,
you also had access to photos and vlogs. (0 takers)
It was
nothing exciting. No one picked this option. Endless videos and countless
pictures of uninteresting people talking or going to the beach. No one was
interested in them; it was the product they cared about.
For £50, you could suggest a name
to be put in the hat. (1,000 takers)
On the day, a name would be
picked from the hat, and that would be its legal name. There were no limits:
you could pick any name you want: your own, or a specific name for either boys
or girls. Popular, because it had a higher chance of being picked, were the
gender neutral names; Jamie, Leslie, Fuckface. There were petitions across the
globe to have everyone pick a specific name, but the amount of contributors
allowed was suddenly limited.
For £100, you would also get a
t-shirt and other branded gear. (43 takers)
There was also a mug (or pint
glass, if you preferred), all of which had printed on them its face (when they
knew what it looked like, of course) with one of the catchphrases they would
try to teach it as its first words. Takers were allowed to suggest
catchphrases, but none have been decided on so far.
For £500, you can Skype with the
organisers. (1 taker)
The conversation was to be
recorded and put out as a vlog for the other takers, but the conversation was
deemed too one-sided and unbroadcastable. The video was leaked, and became
available to all takers of £25 or over.
For £1,000, you had access to the
nursery feeds (2,000 takers)
The site went down briefly on the
day, people crowding online to view the feeds. There had been ten cameras
installed altogether in the nursery, most were ceiling level, but others were
on the ground, with three hovering over the crib, and one over the changing
table.
For £2,000, you had sole
intellectual property rights on it. (12 takers)
During three months, photos,
quotes and videos were yours for private or commercial reasons. Once the story
hit the news, takers had to again be limited. The media will be saturated
enough with this for a long time yet.
For £5,000, you could meet it one
day, in the next few years (2 takers)
For fifteen minutes on a day – in
the near future – you could meet with what has made the news lately. Depending
on availability, and transport. Maybe also, you could have your picture taken
with him.
For £10,000, you could be present
for the day. (5,000 takers)
Transport, food and accommodation
not provided. A crowd still came, and the venue had to be changed from a ward
to an auditorium. Good seats came first come, first served, but there was a
screen for those too far in the back. You could be forgiven for thinking
something exciting was happening, the crowds there were.
For £100,000, you could keep him
for the night. (100 takers)
And for two, you could also keep
the pictures.
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